April: My National Month and FND

April is my month. (Just Kidding) But seriously, not only is April National Poetry Month, it is also National Autism Month. I've talked about that before, since my daughter has Autism. I'm not going to write about that again, but feel free to browse through my blog and look at an older post about it. I don't drink much, but I know people who do and April is also Alcohol Awareness month 👀. I'm not going to say much about that, except that drinking to excess often is not the best of ideas. Now April brings another thing to our awareness that effects me personally: Functional Neurological Disorder, or FND.

https://unsplash.com/photos/a-no-standing-anytime-sign-in-front-of-a-body-of-water-bmDq1HYxyJg?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditShareLink

I thought the above sign was kind of funny because of the "no standing anytime". One of the symptoms of FND can be paralysis. It can last for a short period to indefinite amount of time. You do not have to have this to have FND. Often, and as is the case with me, you lose the ability to control one side of your body. Like a stroke, only the scans will come back saying it wasn't a stroke. I lost control of my right leg overnight, was able to use a walker next morning and a few weeks later was better. Unfortunately, I go through bouts of being better and worse. Some days I have to use my Walker, some days not. Fortunately, I've never been as bad as that first time. 

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There is so much to this disorder, the symptoms are a mile long, and you only need a few of any of them to have this ailment. I also have functional seizures, what used to be called pseudo seizures. There was a call for a name change because these seizures are real, they're just non epileptic. That means your EEG, like mine, will come back normal, but you'll still have seizures that can last for hours or longer. That was something unheard of when I was working with disabled students. 

I have this disability now, worked with the disabled population, and never heard of it. So, FND definitely needs some awareness. People can have MS and Parkinson's like symptoms, but their tests (like mine) will show they don't have those. IBS and Fibermyalgia are both common in people with FND, both of which I have. Also bladder problems...which I have. And hands and feet getting stuck in funny positions, that I have too. There are symptoms I don't have, like functional blindness where you can't open your eyes, or mutism where you can't talk, but I've got most of the FND symptoms. 

Brain Fog and Confusion are big symptoms too, and as in the case with me, this can come and go. You can have really good days and really awful days. Most of the time I'm good, but I've forgotten my zip code and the year until I have been told what they are. I got tested for Dementia too, with a Neuro Psyche Eval, which I do not have.

Found on Unsplash

Oh yes, and to continue with FND symptoms, hands and feet can go numb. Mine often do. I'm going to have an EMG on Thursday on my right leg. Whether that shows something or not, I have the numbness/tingling in all my hands and feet, so at least some of it is FND. You can see on tests what other neurological disorders are. Disorders like MS and Parkinson's and Epilesy. As of today, there really isn't a way to test for FND except through elimination. I have heard there's a leg test, but you would have to have the weak leg symptom for this to work on you. I do have this, but not everyone with FND does. I hear they are developing something called an fMRI that can scan for FND. That's just in the research phase right now though, and don't quote me on it. My neurologist diagnosed me after seeing a video of some of my jerking muscle movements.

Orange Ribbon for FND Awareness Found At: https://www.vecteezy.com/photo/71736544-orange-ribbon-symbol-against-mottled-beige-background-for-awareness-concept

Today, as I'm writing this, it is April 13th, National FND Day. It's probably after that as you're reading this, as it's late. But the whole month of April is FND Month, and I wanted to bring #FNDawareness. As you can see, this disorder is very hard to explain and people need to know about it. The only treatment that I've heard about is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a intense type of mental counseling), Physical Therapy, and Occupational Therapy. One fortunate thing is that FND is not fatal, but it is a B*tch to live with. I got a lot of my information from FND Hope, plus various places around the web. My insurance, Kaiser, also sent me informational papers on Functional Neurological Disorder. My FND App has some excellent links on it. I don't feel like I really scratched the surface in telling you about this disorder. I do feel like it is a good time to move on. So...

 

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I know it's poetry month and I wrote about something else. I did however, find and polish 2 poems I wanted to enter in the contest I was talking about in March. And I started a third poem to enter that's 3/4 written, so I am celebrating poetry this month. My Dad was also telling me to try to memorize some of my poems, or to at least recite some out loud. By the end of this month, and maybe as next months post, I'd like to make a YouTube video of me reciting Talking Walls. I hope to make more videos in this coming year 📹. Thanks for reading!

Kindle Sale For Poetry Month

First, this blog post does not count as my monthly blog post in my opinion because this is an advertisement. I'm putting my Amazon kindle poetry book, Un-Clenched Emotion, on sale for .99 cents from April 1st-7th 2026. Sale Starts on the first at 5am Pacific Standard Time (8am EST) and ends on the 8th at 5am in the morning. Get it at: 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LZNVH4Y

April is Poetry Month. It deserves celebrating! Un-Clenched Emotion has a 4.5 star rating out of 52 reviews on Amazon. Same rating out of 51 reviews on Goodreads. It's an easy to understand poetry book, with a lot of nature themes. 

About Un-Clenched Emotion the AI Review once said:

Customers say

Customers find this poetry collection to be a fabulous collection of poems about honest emotions, with one review noting how the heart serves as a well-spring of feelings. Moreover, the book features identifiable themes, with one customer highlighting how it juxtaposes tangible experiences with elements of mystery. Additionally, customers describe the poems as amazingly beautiful.

AI Generated from the text of customer reviewsGenerated from the text of customer reviews

Select to learn more

This is my favorite review:

This Author truly understands nature!

Review by DAUNTLESS-SECRETS OF THE ANDES in the United States on October 22, 2023

“What a wonderful collection of poems! If you love creation like I do, you will enjoy how the author puts her feelings of appreciation and discovery into words that sound like home. These poems are not only beautiful, but most of them are quite uplifting (except for the middle collection called "Despairing") My favorite begins with the words, "The day I fell in love with night..." We even took her writings to share around a Search term:beach campfire and covered the first section titled, "Enjoying". It was a memorable experience and a great way to end the day. The last portion, called "Philosophizing" also had some exceptional entries, but the ones I'll always re-visit, are those that centered on understanding and appreciating the wonder of nature.”

And my response is- You took my book to the beach and read part of it by a campfire? Amazing! That's the kind of book I wanted to publish! 

              By Acton Crawford on Unsplash

As a reminder to my readers, Un-Clenched Emotion is always on Kindle Unlimited for free. If you download it an read it, I'll make a few cents. I'm not sure if my book sales will go up or not if you read it through Unlimited, but it would be cool if it did. Reviews will count towards Verified Sale star ratings through Kindle Unlimited. Un-Clenched Emotion was once a best seller in free poetry e-books (if you look through my blog, there's another post about it). Buy my book and enjoy reading it!

Free Ebook For Easter

 

Happy Easter and Happy Poetry Month. To celebrate, I am once again offering my kindle ebook, 'Un-Clenched Emotion', free to everyone! The promotion for this book runs from Friday April 7th, 2023 to April 11th, 2023.  Last time I offered my book for free, I gave away 6 books. I'm not sure if I'll run this promotion again, right now I am not planning on it.  The link for the this is:   https://www.amazon.com/Clenched-Emotion-Natasha-Gruss-ebook/dp/B01LZNVH4Y Of course the link is all over the site. I'm sorry to bombard you, but I want to make it easy for you to get my book!

I don't make any royalties ($) when I give out my book for free.  I do make some pennies when someone downloads and reads my book on Kindle Unlimited. You heard me right, cents, not dollars. I also recieve a few cents a month for being enrolled in the Kindle Unlimited program. When someone actually buys the book, I get a couple of dollars. And my Sales Ranking goes up.  So of course I am always hoping to sale. I haven't sold many copies, but I have sold some. For me, that's reason to celebrate! 

I also believe the reviews I have received for "Un-Clenched Emotion" is reason to celebrate. Right now I have an average rating of 4.5 stars out of 5 (out of 25 ratings). That's pretty great! I've received so many honest reviews by belonging to review programs myself. Right now my favorite review program is Sandra's Book Club. It's at: http://sandrasbookclub.blogspot.com/ It is awesome, and if you are an author and decide to join, please mention my name. Anyway, one of my favorite 5 star reviews for my book is as follows:

If you want to know what's inside the book, here are a few of my YouTube teasers:

I hope you seize this opportunity to get my book for free and I hope you enjoy!

What to do for Poetry Month

It is the month of April, and the month of April is poetry month.  There are many things people can do besides write poetry.  Most obviously, they can read poetry.  Of course, you can read the classics like Shakespeare or Dickon's, but you can read current day poets too, (like me).  If you read a poet's work on your kindle, they would appreciate a review or at least a star rating.  All you have to do is click a star.  I decided to read a poetry book for this April.  

This month I decided to read Misha Collins poetry book: "Some Things I Still Can't Tell You."  Misha Collins is not famous for being a poet.  He is famous for playing the character Castielle (an Angel), on the T.V. show Supernatural.  I was very excited when I found out he was into poetry.  I saw him recite some on my Instagram account, thought it was great, and asked my husband for his book for Christmas. My husband got for it me!  Misha Collins is a very good poet, and I am very glad that I have his writing in my possession.

If you are a poet, and are published with Amazon, you can give your book away for free for up to five days.  You won't get any royalties when you do this, but you might spread your work around the world a little more.  I chose to give my book away for 3 days at the beginning this month.  Four people took advantage of the offer.  I may give "Un-Clenched Emotion" more free days in following months.  It is on Kindle Unlimited, so if you have that, it is always free.  I found out that I do get royalties if someone buys my book that way.

Naturally, if you would like to, you can write your own poetry in the month of April.  There are many poetry challenges online where they ask you to write a poem a day for the whole month of April.  I have done this in years past, but did not do a poem a day this year.  I did write a few poems this month, which I plan to submit to publication.  They are speculative poems, poems that follow a fantasy or science fiction theme.  I have a title for the other poetry chapbook, (or perhaps whole book), this time, and some more of this book to put together. The theme for this book is the Seasons. I still have a long way to go to get this finished.

I challenge you to read and/or write poetry this month.  Promote what you have already written, or write a review for an author you have read.

Discovering the Marketing and Promotion of an Author

After the publication of my first poetry book in 2016, I became very discouraged when I didn’t make a sale, or seem to be able to give away my poetry for free.  I stopped writing poetry for a long period of time.  Last month, April 2018, I somehow got motivated to write poetry more.  I didn’t write a poem everyday, yet the month of April was still full of poetry.

Submitting Poems for Publication

I discovered many new things about the publication and marketing of poetry.  Back in March, I had checked out a couple of copies of “Writer’s Digest” and discovered a few publications that would pay poets for their poems if they were accepted.  I made it a goal to write poems that I was proud of and submit them for publication.  I succeeded in this goal and sent out two poems, one each to the publications “Contrary” and “Poetry Magazine.”  I probably won’t know until November if they’ve been accepted, and I don’t have much hope they will be, but I am proud I attempted to at least.  I know there still is a chance. 

I also joined the Goodreads “Poetry!” Group and entered a poem for the May contest.  I was not a finalist, so I will share it now:

If I Saw the Perfect Me

Another Past, an Alternate Dimension.

-Blink- She has everything I ever wanted.

Eyes of Ebony, Shimmering Hair in Shades of Gold,

and Skin like Tanned Cream.

If only I had fallen in Her Footsteps.

Walk softly with pitter pattering feet.

Our destinies tied together.

She thrums to the heartbeat of Her Love.

Eyes everchanging as the Ocean,

Eyebrows: dark drawing perfect curves to Gentle Face.

He is mine here, this dimension, something we share.

My love vibrates to my soul.

For a moment, I stop regretting being Her.

Rubbing dull brown eyes, I see She’s found a Purpose,

while I write resumés that blow away

to crumbling and quitting, never finding purchase,

while I stand precariously, Her Feet Perfected Toenails,

Rooted with Joy.

I hold glittering Fool’s Gold while Hers Sparkling Pure is Solid.

She bites it with Pristine White Teeth, doesn’t distort. 

Biting mine with stained teeth and too small lips, melts to glop.

Her green with Luck, me green with Envy.

I wonder if the Money God is really evil,

or if it’s just a matter of success.

-Blink- We both see an Empty Soul, green with decaying,

wearing poverty as pride. Her eyes also ebony,

but no life there, orbs glinting of malevolence.

Us Others release our benevolent breath,

taking comfort of Our happy dispositions.

Looking at Another’s problems through a looking glass of speculation,

I come to the realization:

It doesn’t matter how magnificent Her life is,

mine could be as the Other; much worse.

Reviews of Poetry

In March or April, I also became an Author on Goodreads (https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15863356.Natasha_Gruss).  I’m not sure how I discovered I could do this.  I joined some review groups on Goodreads this April and exchanged reviews of poetry books.  I reviewed and got reviewed by four poets.  I didn’t review them, but I also read more poetry books that were listed for free on Amazon and twitter, just to celebrate poetry month.  I submitted my book, “Un-Clenched Emotion” to be reviewed on other websites as well.

Twitter

I discovered twitter by tweeting my blog posts and promoting my poetry book (@natasha_gruss).  Tweeting, liking, and retweeting things gained me a lot of twitter followers.  If other authors, or poets, (or just interesting people,) followed me, I followed them back.  I did tweet one old haiku of mine, and someone used it as inspiration to make a haiku page on their website.  On twitter, I found a book on marketing and used that for poetry month.

Amazon, KDP Select, and Giveaways

For Marketing, I really examined the Amazon page of my book.  Doing this, I learned that authors were allowed to give away their kindle books for free every 90 days.  I thought I had unsuccessfully done this one time, and that I couldn’t do it again.  I was happy I was wrong.  When I discovered I could give away my poetry book away for free again, I decided I would do that in celebration of poetry month.  To do this, I also figured out how to fix the kindle version of my book. (The formatting didn’t come out right the first time).  It felt good, trying to get my poetry book out there.  I didn’t know when I did my free promotion before that I could find out if I gave away any books.  This time I discovered KDP select makes a marketing graph of how many books were sold or given away.  I was happy six people took advantage of my giveaway.  Amazon’s Author Page (https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B01LZE8CKO) also graphs sales rank and author’s rank.  It only ranks sales, not giveaways, so my free book promotion didn’t affect rankings at all.

For the future, I tried to figure out how to help my rankings and studied print book giveaways.  Everyone said Amazon’s print book giveaways weren’t worth it, but Goodreads was.  I bought 6 print books of “Un-Clenched Emotion” (https://www.amazon.com/Clenched-Emotion-Collection-Poems/dp/1537725327/) which I hope to give away in the future.  I also wondered if doing a giveaway of an item, like a coffee pot, would help my Amazon Author ranking, if people were required to follow me as an Amazon Author.  What do you think?  If you could follow me for the chance to win a coffee pot, Edgar Allen Poe mug, dragon stapler, or tea basket; would you do it?  Which thing would you want?

I am proud of all I did in April to celebrate poetry and learn about the marketing of it.  There is still much more work to do.  There are many more discoveries I made on marketing and blogging, but too much to write in one post.  I may write about them in the future.

Free Poetry Book “Un-Clenched Emotion” Last Five Days of April 2018, How to Get Kindle App, and Getting Free Books

It’s April – Poetry Month.  In honor of this month I have decided to offer my poetry book “Un-Clenched Emotion” for free on the Kindle.  It will be free for five days, from Thursday April 26^th 2018 to Monday April 30^th 2018. (There’s a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in there as well).  You can get “Un-Clenched Emotion” at http://www.amazon.com/Clenched-Emotion-Natasha-Gruss-ebook/dp/B01LZNVH4Y/  Normally this poetry book is priced at $2.99 on Amazon.  Unless you have Kindle Unlimited, in which case it is always free.

No Kindle? Get the App for Free 

I want to stress that you don’t need a Kindle to get this, just a smart phone or tablet with the Kindle App, or you can even download it on your computer if you don’t want to use those devices.  The Kindle App is free to download. You can get it on the Google Play Store at https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?hl=en&id=com.amazon.kindle or for your Apple Device at https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/id302584613 and if you decide to go the computer route you can get it at https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/fd/kcp and choose the “Download for PC and Mac” button.

  

Getting Free Books- Not Just “Un-Clenched Emotion”

It costs you nothing, but in order to use the Kindle App you do need an Amazon account. You can get it at https://www.amazon.com/  (but you do not need Prime or Kindle Unlimited).  There are many books listed on Amazon costing 0.00 that you can get at no charge at various times, and sometimes the are always free, (not just Un-Clenched Emotion being free from 4/26/18-4/30/18).  The Kindle App and Amazon account are free, but you do need to add a debit or credit card on Amazon to use it.  Even so, free books truly do cost nothing.  It may be annoying sorting through books on Amazon to see which one’s are free, but you can get e-mailed lists that will tell you which ones are available, (they’re not just poetry books either).  I belong to a few lists, one of which is Bookbub which you can sign up for at https://www.bookbub.com/welcome and I belong to Early Bird Books which you can get at https://earlybirdbooks.com/.  There are so many ways to get free books, I should do a blog post about it later.  I have added links to my whole webpage, so if you're looking for multiple ways to get books you should check out my links section.  Click the following to see the whole blog: https://authornatashagruss.blogspot.com/  I follow some authors by e-mail (goddessfuri@yahoo.com is my email,) and they often list books for no charge, and not always their own.  I follow authors and free book sites on twitter too.  You may also be able to go to your local library and “check-out” digital books.  Ask your librarian how to do this.  If you do pay for Amazon Prime (which I do), they offer a free book once a month as well.  There are many ways to get electronic books that cost nothing.  I encourage you to check it out.

Why I Haven't Promoted Before 

I haven’t done much advertising for the Kindle Version of “Un-Clenched Emotion,” yet I feel that the offer of a free book is a great one.  The reason I haven’t promoted this is because the formatting in the Vertical View didn’t come out right- but now I did it, I fixed it!  Now the book comes out great in both Vertical and Horizatal View, plus I fixed some errors.  I am so happy about being able to fix it!  When "Un-Clenched Emotion,"  wasn't coming out right, it didn't destroy the poetry, it was still okay, but now it's polished! Please read it!

Share and Perhaps Review Please

There is no requirement to get this book free on the last days of April 2018.  I just want people to be able to read my poetry.  It would be awesome if you wrote a review, or at least give it however many stars you feel it is worth.  If you have Goodreads (https://www.goodreads.com), you can post a review on there as well if you want to support me. Despite the picture above of the man clicking five stars, I am all for your honest pick of stars.  If you don't want to review the book, I'm happy with just a click of stars.  If you want to write a review, it doesn't have to be much, just something like "I thought it was great.  I recommend this book." Please share this blog post.  There are buttons for Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and more at the bottom of this post.  Press one before or during the last five days of April (and if you’re doing twitter, adding hashtags (#) would be great.  For example: #poetry #freepoetry #freebook)! Thank you.

Celebrate Poetry Month

It's April.  That means it's poetry month!  I have written poems about different times of the month.  April was my second favorite month, because that's when I got to go on vacations in the previous years.  October is my favorite because I love the fall, and that's when I met my true love.  I'm starting to get a liking for March too since that's when my love moved in with me!  April still has it's benefits though.  In the place I live there is a tulip festival every year, so I am surrounded in beauty,  The weather finally gets nicer in April, and it is time to celebrate poetry.  Celebrate poetry month by getting my book, "Un-Clenched" emotion on Create Space or Amazon.