Author Natasha Gruss McKinley shares her experience with poetry and poems, (both with the reading and writing aspect,) with the public, interested readers and authors. She promotes her first published book.
April is my month. (Just Kidding) But seriously, not only is April National Poetry Month, it is also National Autism Month. I've talked about that before, since my daughter has Autism. I'm not going to write about that again, but feel free to browse through my blog and look at an older post about it. I don't drink much, but I know people who do and April is also Alcohol Awareness month 👀. I'm not going to say much about that, except that drinking to excess often is not the best of ideas. Now April brings another thing to our awareness that effects me personally: Functional Neurological Disorder, or FND.
I thought the above sign was kind of funny because of the "no standing anytime". One of the symptoms of FND can be paralysis. It can last for a short period to indefinite amount of time. You do not have to have this to have FND. Often, and as is the case with me, you lose the ability to control one side of your body. Like a stroke, only the scans will come back saying it wasn't a stroke. I lost control of my right leg overnight, was able to use a walker next morning and a few weeks later was better. Unfortunately, I go through bouts of being better and worse. Some days I have to use my Walker, some days not. Fortunately, I've never been as bad as that first time.
There is so much to this disorder, the symptoms are a mile long, and you only need a few of any of them to have this ailment. I also have functional seizures, what used to be called pseudo seizures. There was a call for a name change because these seizures are real, they're just non epileptic. That means your EEG, like mine, will come back normal, but you'll still have seizures that can last for hours or longer. That was something unheard of when I was working with disabled students.
I have this disability now, worked with the disabled population, and never heard of it. So, FND definitely needs some awareness. People can have MS and Parkinson's like symptoms, but their tests (like mine) will show they don't have those. IBS and Fibermyalgia are both common in people with FND, both of which I have. Also bladder problems...which I have. And hands and feet getting stuck in funny positions, that I have too. There are symptoms I don't have, like functional blindness where you can't open your eyes, or mutism where you can't talk, but I've got most of the FND symptoms.
Brain Fog and Confusion are big symptoms too, and as in the case with me, this can come and go. You can have really good days and really awful days. Most of the time I'm good, but I've forgotten my zip code and the year until I have been told what they are. I got tested for Dementia too, with a Neuro Psyche Eval, which I do not have.
Found on Unsplash
Oh yes, and to continue with FND symptoms, hands and feet can go numb. Mine often do. I'm going to have an EMG on Thursday on my right leg. Whether that shows something or not, I have the numbness/tingling in all my hands and feet, so at least some of it is FND. You can see on tests what other neurological disorders are. Disorders like MS and Parkinson's and Epilesy. As of today, there really isn't a way to test for FND except through elimination. I have heard there's a leg test, but you would have to have the weak leg symptom for this to work on you. I do have this, but not everyone with FND does. I hear they are developing something called an fMRI that can scan for FND. That's just in the research phase right now though, and don't quote me on it. My neurologist diagnosed me after seeing a video of some of my jerking muscle movements.
Today, as I'm writing this, it is April 13th, National FND Day. It's probably after that as you're reading this, as it's late. But the whole month of April is FND Month, and I wanted to bring #FNDawareness. As you can see, this disorder is very hard to explain and people need to know about it. The only treatment that I've heard about is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a intense type of mental counseling), Physical Therapy, and Occupational Therapy. One fortunate thing is that FND is not fatal, but it is a B*tch to live with. I got a lot of my information from FND Hope, plus various places around the web. My insurance, Kaiser, also sent me informational papers on Functional Neurological Disorder. My FND App has some excellent links on it. I don't feel like I really scratched the surface in telling you about this disorder. I do feel like it is a good time to move on. So...
I know it's poetry month and I wrote about something else. I did however, find and polish 2 poems I wanted to enter in the contest I was talking about in March. And I started a third poem to enter that's 3/4 written, so I am celebrating poetry this month. My Dad was also telling me to try to memorize some of my poems, or to at least recite some out loud. By the end of this month, and maybe as next months post, I'd like to make a YouTube video of me reciting Talking Walls. I hope to make more videos in this coming year 📹. Thanks for reading!
The first week of Poetry Month 2026 and my 99 cent promotion of the Kindle ebook, Un-Clenched Emotion, is over. You can still buy it for 2.99 and that is still not too bad. Or you can read my book for free with Kindle Unlimited, and I still get a few cents if you do that. Happy reading.
First, this blog post does not count as my monthly blog post in my opinion because this is an advertisement. I'm putting my Amazon kindle poetry book, Un-Clenched Emotion, on sale for .99 cents from April 1st-7th 2026. Sale Starts on the first at 5am Pacific Standard Time (8am EST) and ends on the 8th at 5am in the morning. Get it at:
April is Poetry Month. It deserves celebrating! Un-Clenched Emotion has a 4.5 star rating out of 52 reviews on Amazon. Same rating out of 51 reviews on Goodreads. It's an easy to understand poetry book, with a lot of nature themes.
About Un-Clenched Emotion the AI Review once said:
Customers say
Customers find this poetry collection to be a fabulous collection of poems about honest emotions, with one review noting how the heart serves as a well-spring of feelings. Moreover, the book features identifiable themes, with one customer highlighting how it juxtaposes tangible experiences with elements of mystery. Additionally, customers describe the poems as amazingly beautiful.
AI Generated from the text of customer reviewsGenerated from the text of customer reviews
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This is my favorite review:
This Author truly understands nature!
Review by DAUNTLESS-SECRETS OF THE ANDES in the United States on October 22, 2023
“What a wonderful collection of poems! If you love creation like I do, you will enjoy how the author puts her feelings of appreciation and discovery into words that sound like home. These poems are not only beautiful, but most of them are quite uplifting (except for the middle collection called "Despairing") My favorite begins with the words, "The day I fell in love with night..." We even took her writings to share around a Search term:beach campfire and covered the first section titled, "Enjoying". It was a memorable experience and a great way to end the day. The last portion, called "Philosophizing" also had some exceptional entries, but the ones I'll always re-visit, are those that centered on understanding and appreciating the wonder of nature.”
And my response is- You took my book to the beach and read part of it by a campfire? Amazing! That's the kind of book I wanted to publish!
By Acton Crawford on Unsplash
As a reminder to my readers, Un-Clenched Emotion is always on Kindle Unlimited for free. If you download it an read it, I'll make a few cents. I'm not sure if my book sales will go up or not if you read it through Unlimited, but it would be cool if it did. Reviews will count towards Verified Sale star ratings through Kindle Unlimited. Un-Clenched Emotion was once a best seller in free poetry e-books (if you look through my blog, there's another post about it). Buy my book and enjoy reading it!