April: My National Month and FND

April is my month. (Just Kidding) But seriously, not only is April National Poetry Month, it is also National Autism Month. I've talked about that before, since my daughter has Autism. I'm not going to write about that again, but feel free to browse through my blog and look at an older post about it. I don't drink much, but I know people who do and April is also Alcohol Awareness month 👀. I'm not going to say much about that, except that drinking to excess often is not the best of ideas. Now April brings another thing to our awareness that effects me personally: Functional Neurological Disorder, or FND.

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I thought the above sign was kind of funny because of the "no standing anytime". One of the symptoms of FND can be paralysis. It can last for a short period to indefinite amount of time. You do not have to have this to have FND. Often, and as is the case with me, you lose the ability to control one side of your body. Like a stroke, only the scans will come back saying it wasn't a stroke. I lost control of my right leg overnight, was able to use a walker next morning and a few weeks later was better. Unfortunately, I go through bouts of being better and worse. Some days I have to use my Walker, some days not. Fortunately, I've never been as bad as that first time. 

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There is so much to this disorder, the symptoms are a mile long, and you only need a few of any of them to have this ailment. I also have functional seizures, what used to be called pseudo seizures. There was a call for a name change because these seizures are real, they're just non epileptic. That means your EEG, like mine, will come back normal, but you'll still have seizures that can last for hours or longer. That was something unheard of when I was working with disabled students. 

I have this disability now, worked with the disabled population, and never heard of it. So, FND definitely needs some awareness. People can have MS and Parkinson's like symptoms, but their tests (like mine) will show they don't have those. IBS and Fibermyalgia are both common in people with FND, both of which I have. Also bladder problems...which I have. And hands and feet getting stuck in funny positions, that I have too. There are symptoms I don't have, like functional blindness where you can't open your eyes, or mutism where you can't talk, but I've got most of the FND symptoms. 

Brain Fog and Confusion are big symptoms too, and as in the case with me, this can come and go. You can have really good days and really awful days. Most of the time I'm good, but I've forgotten my zip code and the year until I have been told what they are. I got tested for Dementia too, with a Neuro Psyche Eval, which I do not have.

Found on Unsplash

Oh yes, and to continue with FND symptoms, hands and feet can go numb. Mine often do. I'm going to have an EMG on Thursday on my right leg. Whether that shows something or not, I have the numbness/tingling in all my hands and feet, so at least some of it is FND. You can see on tests what other neurological disorders are. Disorders like MS and Parkinson's and Epilesy. As of today, there really isn't a way to test for FND except through elimination. I have heard there's a leg test, but you would have to have the weak leg symptom for this to work on you. I do have this, but not everyone with FND does. I hear they are developing something called an fMRI that can scan for FND. That's just in the research phase right now though, and don't quote me on it. My neurologist diagnosed me after seeing a video of some of my jerking muscle movements.

Orange Ribbon for FND Awareness Found At: https://www.vecteezy.com/photo/71736544-orange-ribbon-symbol-against-mottled-beige-background-for-awareness-concept

Today, as I'm writing this, it is April 13th, National FND Day. It's probably after that as you're reading this, as it's late. But the whole month of April is FND Month, and I wanted to bring #FNDawareness. As you can see, this disorder is very hard to explain and people need to know about it. The only treatment that I've heard about is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a intense type of mental counseling), Physical Therapy, and Occupational Therapy. One fortunate thing is that FND is not fatal, but it is a B*tch to live with. I got a lot of my information from FND Hope, plus various places around the web. My insurance, Kaiser, also sent me informational papers on Functional Neurological Disorder. My FND App has some excellent links on it. I don't feel like I really scratched the surface in telling you about this disorder. I do feel like it is a good time to move on. So...

 

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I know it's poetry month and I wrote about something else. I did however, find and polish 2 poems I wanted to enter in the contest I was talking about in March. And I started a third poem to enter that's 3/4 written, so I am celebrating poetry this month. My Dad was also telling me to try to memorize some of my poems, or to at least recite some out loud. By the end of this month, and maybe as next months post, I'd like to make a YouTube video of me reciting Talking Walls. I hope to make more videos in this coming year 📹. Thanks for reading!

Sale Over

The first week of Poetry Month 2026 and my 99 cent promotion of the Kindle ebook, Un-Clenched Emotion, is over. You can still buy it for 2.99 and that is still not too bad. Or you can read  my book for free with Kindle Unlimited, and I still get a few cents if you do that. Happy reading.

Kindle Sale For Poetry Month

First, this blog post does not count as my monthly blog post in my opinion because this is an advertisement. I'm putting my Amazon kindle poetry book, Un-Clenched Emotion, on sale for .99 cents from April 1st-7th 2026. Sale Starts on the first at 5am Pacific Standard Time (8am EST) and ends on the 8th at 5am in the morning. Get it at: 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LZNVH4Y

April is Poetry Month. It deserves celebrating! Un-Clenched Emotion has a 4.5 star rating out of 52 reviews on Amazon. Same rating out of 51 reviews on Goodreads. It's an easy to understand poetry book, with a lot of nature themes. 

About Un-Clenched Emotion the AI Review once said:

Customers say

Customers find this poetry collection to be a fabulous collection of poems about honest emotions, with one review noting how the heart serves as a well-spring of feelings. Moreover, the book features identifiable themes, with one customer highlighting how it juxtaposes tangible experiences with elements of mystery. Additionally, customers describe the poems as amazingly beautiful.

AI Generated from the text of customer reviewsGenerated from the text of customer reviews

Select to learn more

This is my favorite review:

This Author truly understands nature!

Review by DAUNTLESS-SECRETS OF THE ANDES in the United States on October 22, 2023

“What a wonderful collection of poems! If you love creation like I do, you will enjoy how the author puts her feelings of appreciation and discovery into words that sound like home. These poems are not only beautiful, but most of them are quite uplifting (except for the middle collection called "Despairing") My favorite begins with the words, "The day I fell in love with night..." We even took her writings to share around a Search term:beach campfire and covered the first section titled, "Enjoying". It was a memorable experience and a great way to end the day. The last portion, called "Philosophizing" also had some exceptional entries, but the ones I'll always re-visit, are those that centered on understanding and appreciating the wonder of nature.”

And my response is- You took my book to the beach and read part of it by a campfire? Amazing! That's the kind of book I wanted to publish! 

              By Acton Crawford on Unsplash

As a reminder to my readers, Un-Clenched Emotion is always on Kindle Unlimited for free. If you download it an read it, I'll make a few cents. I'm not sure if my book sales will go up or not if you read it through Unlimited, but it would be cool if it did. Reviews will count towards Verified Sale star ratings through Kindle Unlimited. Un-Clenched Emotion was once a best seller in free poetry e-books (if you look through my blog, there's another post about it). Buy my book and enjoy reading it!

What About Poetry Contests?

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Have you ever witnessed people competing in a poetry contest? I have. Of course, you can't witness submitted poems to judges that are on paper. There are programs out there however, where poetry is preformed. I went to a NAMI (National Allience for Mental Illness) Convention in Seattle and saw different poets compete. They had their poems memorized, and while preforming, they had their rhythm down. I was glad I did not enter, for I don't have my poems memorized, I've written way too many. I have been surprised on occasion when other people have recited my poems back to me, (I do remember a line of what I've written here and there, and definitely the subject matter) Anyway, the NAMI poetry contest performance was very enjoyable. If you ever have the chance to go to something like that, I highly recommend it. I have done poetry readings that were not contests, and I've read my poems from paper there. If you ever get the chance to attend one: GO! I love participating or simply attending.

Photo by Jaredd Craig on Unsplash

Why do I bring this up? I'm bringing contests up because I don't often enter them, and only when there's no fee. If you read my blog, you will see I did enter a Goodreads Contest and won 7th place (out of hundreds) with my poem "Talking Walls", which I never preformed. I really should make a YouTube video of that one. While I don't usually enter a poetry contest with a reading fee, I plan to next month. Why? Because I've met the people putting it on. A woman from the foundation taught a free class at my local library. I went to see if she taught poetry the same way I used to. She actually did teach it the same way. It's going to cost $20 for each 3 poems entered. Not bad, and of course, there's cash prizes at the end. Wish me luck!

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

I have actually judged poetry contests before, back in High School. My teacher and poetry club Facilitator invited me to do it. These were written poems that I got to read and judge along with another lady (older adult). We had to agree on the ones we liked. Then the best ones were published. While I am a writer of poetry, I don't think you need to be a Writer to judge poetry, just an Appreciater. We all judge poems automatically when we read or hear them anyway. Honestly, I don't usually enter contests, because I'd rather just have mine published and get paid for it. When you think about it though, every time you submit a poem for publication, you're entering a contest, fee or no fee.

For an update on my New Year's Resoluton: I did write a couple reviews in February, and a few this month too. No poetry however. I have 3 poems to write now and enter into the contest in April. I really want to get back to my books too, Seasons of Sensation, or even my short stories or romance book I've got partly written. I wish you happy reading, viewing, writing, and/or preforming!

Welcome To The Heart Month

Illustration by Round Icons on Unsplash

First, I want to say I did do one writing thing for January. I entered a contest writing about my happiest moment as a caregiver, (one of the times I took my daughter horseback riding). It wasn't a writing contest per sé but it did have the requirement of 300 words or more, so I'm counting it as a writing thing. Not sure when or if I'll hear back, the deadline was the 31st of January. Hopefully I'll be able to do another writing thing in February, whether that's working on my book(s), or submitting poems for publication, or writing reviews, or anything that has anything to do with writing. I'm working hard on focusing on the positive, I'm internally criticizing myself so hard. That's not very good for my nerves, or heart. And of course, February is the heart month, both the physical and emotional heart.

I'm sure the emotional part is thanks to Saint Valentines Day. I'm guessing that people wanting to bring awareness to heart health decided it would be congruess having the physical heart month attached to the emotional heart month. To me personally, they are very intertwined. Sometimes my heart is heavy, (pun intended,) because my Grandmother died of a heart attack when I was a young teenager. Not only that, most people have to live through the pain of their grandparents dying, but practically all of my Dad's family has heart problems, and my Dad has had many heart attacks. Fortunately he is still alive and doing everything he can to keep his heart healthy. According to my echocardiogram, my heart is doing well despite the occasional bout of heartburn. So what's Heart month got to do with poetry? Well that's easy to answer, poetry is the language of the heart!

Illustration by Luky Triohandoko on Unsplash

Poetry is the expression of emotion, a word which is often a synonym of the word heart. While I named my first poetry book "Un-Clenched Emotion" it could have easily been "Unclenched Heart". I poured my heart out when I wrote those poems, just like whenever I write any poem. I'm sure any poet would tell you the same. The other reason I'm writing out the theme of the month of February is because it's something I would often do in my poetry classes: ask the students to write about the month we're in or about a Holiday we're near. That got me the idea,  and many written poems, for "Seasons of Sensation". If your struggling with ideas to write this month, write about February. If you're a reader, read some poetry in celebration of the month. 

  

                                                    

Photo by Ahmet Yüksek ✪ on Unsplash

Or don't read poetry at all, read other stuff that has to do with February. Since it's African American History Month as I well, I do reccomend reading some poems by Phillis Wheatley, a Women African American Poet from the late 1700's. She was a slave who became educated and then later freed. Of course, there are also many more things you can read for African History month as well, like Fedrick Douglass's autobiography, or the speeches of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. February is also the awareness month of many things. For breveity's sake of this blog, we'll just focus on February being heart month. If you want, you could read non-fiction medical books on the heart. You never know where a person's interests lie, I happen to like physics books, both science fiction and non-fiction books. Be sure to take care of your hearts, both emotional and physical!

2/13/2026 

Today, A few days after I first wrote this post, I went to look and see my rankings on the seller list for books (I was ranked low) and I ended up looking at AI summarizing my reviews. Here's what it says today (I notice it changes every so often, despite not getting more reviews):

I immediately noticed that someone said the "heart" was a well-spring of feelings. I thought, how fitting for the blog I just wrote! Than I started to read my reviews to see if I could find this particular one. I couldn't find it, but noticed that the word heart was all over the place in my reviews. That's great, that means that this blog is relevant to my poetry. Thanks for reading!